sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
