Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
