Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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