Define "chronic" masturbator.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
