you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
