Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
P.S. I can't hear my feet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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