Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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