I bet he comes in French.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
