Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
