I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
