Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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