Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
