Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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