Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Can I color on your dick again?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
