The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
