i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
