you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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