Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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