He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
