you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
