Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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