Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
