She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What a dumb baby whore.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
