Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
