on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
