I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
