Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
