he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize