I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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