RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this beer tastes like vomit already
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
