I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
