i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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