are you still at the devil's house?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
please come you make the beer taste better
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
