Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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