This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize