I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
