Jerry, you need to find god
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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