(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
