508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
