Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i need some magic done to my vagina
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
