Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
