No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
