why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
