the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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