Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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