THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Green mimosas i think yes
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
