The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
