god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
