3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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