So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
