Sry I called you an 8
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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