Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
only you would photoshop your dick
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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