Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
