just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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