I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I came so hard my ears popped.
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