i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
