I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
