hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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