In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think people are normalizing furries
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
