I love watching others lives come down to our level.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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