I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
