it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
