I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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