guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
