I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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