HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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