Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
