I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
