Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize