Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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