i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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