Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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