she kept yelling 'call me bella'
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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