He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
