Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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