how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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