Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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