somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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