you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
